I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize