what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
