In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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