At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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