saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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