you would pick up someone in the library
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize