Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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