So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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