she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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