i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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