totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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