Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
