So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
