This girl is more easily done than said...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
