That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
