I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
