Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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