It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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