I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
