Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
