please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The power of my boobs compel you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
