Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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