You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
