I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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