I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
