i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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