guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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