nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
