naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
