is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
