we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
