I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
