Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize