I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
