people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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