well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
