I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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