I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
