well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
