my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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