I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
