I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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