problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
