She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
