Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize