State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
