Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
