omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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