....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
