Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
