Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
