when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize