Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
