You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
