sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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