Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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