His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize