I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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