If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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